Watching someone you love begin the process of recovery feels like a weight is being lifted off your shoulders, as they get the support they so clearly need. Unfortunately, recovery isn’t always linear, and watching your loved one return to use after treatment is heartbreaking.
Alcoholic relapse happens when a person seeks out alcohol in a way that breaks the recovery goals they set for themselves. This looks different for different people, depending on what they want to accomplish. Many people return to use at some point during their recovery journey. That doesn’t mean they won’t recover.
If you’re worried about someone you love who has gone back to alcohol during recovery, your fears are reasonable. When your loved one immediately goes back to drinking the same amount of alcohol they used to, they could be at risk of alcohol poisoning or even death. According to the National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics, an average of 15,443 annual deaths in California are attributable to excessive alcohol use.
At Pacific Sands, we understand that the path towards recovery from alcohol use disorder (AUD) isn’t always as straightforward as you or your loved one hoped it would be. Relapse is part of the journey for many people, but it doesn’t have to be the end.
Defining An Alcoholic Relapse
An alcoholic relapse, also known as a return to use, looks different depending on the person and their goals for recovery. Defining what a return to use would look like for your loved one is the first step to recognizing one when it occurs. An alcoholic relapse occurs when someone sets a goal for recovery and breaks that goal to seek out alcohol.
During recovery, individuals have diverse goals. For example, most people following a 12-step program like Alcoholics Anonymous abstain from alcohol entirely as part of their recovery. For someone with that goal, even a drop of alcohol would be considered a relapse. However, some people are looking to reduce their alcohol intake. For them, one drink might be okay, but more would be considered a relapse. Others might be okay having a drink with friends, but have set a goal not to drink on their own.
Often, a return to use is painful and complex because it’s a failure to meet a goal. If your loved one has recently begun to rationalize their drinking behavior, or you’ve noticed a significant change in their behavior during recovery, they may be returning to use.
Even if your loved one has experienced a return to use, this isn’t the end of their recovery journey. Relapse is a common part of recovery for many people. Right now, your loved one needs support. You can empower them to find tools for recovering from and preventing relapse.
Understanding Common Triggers for Alcoholic Relapse
Just like each individual’s return to use will look different depending on their goals, so will the reasoning behind it. 4 common triggers cause people to return to alcohol:
- Periods of high stress: Recovery, especially in the early stages, can make for a difficult transition. There’s a lot of change, which leads to higher levels of stress than normal. Additional stress, such as problems at work or home, can be difficult to handle. Some people return to old habits while trying to manage these difficult periods.
- Disconnecting from support systems: The recovery process can be isolating, which is why being part of a recovery community is vital for many individuals. It is common for people in recovery to draw back once they no longer feel like they need consistent support. When someone underestimates their need for support, it can increase the likelihood of returning to use.
- Preexisting mental health conditions: Mental health has a serious impact on many people’s relationships with alcohol. If your loved one is living with a mental health condition as well as alcohol use disorder, their symptoms may impact recovery. Many people turn to alcohol as a tool for self-medicating mental health symptoms.
- Peer pressure: Your loved one will also have to make decisions about whom they shouldn’t maintain a relationship with during recovery. Staying connected with people who still drink or who don’t support your loved one’s journey can easily lead to relapse.
Understanding the Statistics on Alcohol Relapse
To understand the statistics surrounding people with AUD returning to use during recovery, we first have to understand how the people measuring that data define a “relapse.” As we pointed out earlier, defining relapse depends on the individual’s goals, which makes it difficult to apply that label broadly. That’s an issue when we look at how data on the subject is collected.
In 2022, a paper was published that examined 321 different studies about relapse during recovery from AUD, conducted between 2000 and 2019. The review found that 78% of those studies used different definitions for relapse, and that in 22% of articles, no definition was provided. This lack of agreement surrounding the return to use makes it difficult to truly understand how common these types of setbacks are.
One study from 2022 used multiple concrete measures to examine a return to the use of alcohol. They examined the percentage of people who drank any alcohol at 6 months and 12 months following treatment. They also examined the percentage of people who drank for 3 or more consecutive days during that time frame. The following graph summarizes their findings:
The results of this study indicate that the majority of participants consumed some alcohol after completing treatment. However, the percentage of people who consistently consumed alcohol following treatment was considerably lower.
Recognizing the Warning Signs of a Relapse
Your loved one’s experience of AUD and recovery is unique to them. When it comes to identifying the warning signs of a return to use, it’s essential to keep their specific needs and history in mind. If you’re concerned that your loved one is going to relapse, trust your gut. This is someone you know well, and you’re likely to pick up on small changes.
Common warning signs of a return to use include:
- Ruminating about alcohol
- Downplaying or denying the effect alcohol had on them in the past
- Engaging in activities that they associate with alcohol
- Seeking out permission or support for drinking
- Increasingly erratic or irresponsible behavior
- Connecting with people they used to drink with
- Sudden mood swings
- Becoming secretive or deceptive without a clear reason
- Poor hygiene
These are just a few examples of behavioral warning signs. Your loved one may not exhibit all of these signs. Some people don’t show obvious signs of relapse immediately, and you aren’t responsible for keeping your loved one in recovery.
What to Do If Someone You Love Relapses
If you’re concerned that a loved one has returned to use, it’s normal to be stressed and upset. It might feel like you’re starting all over again. If your loved one has been deceptive or hiding their relapse, that can do serious damage to your relationship. It’s understandable if you feel hurt or even angry.
The most important thing for you to do is have an open, honest conversation with your loved one. Approach this discussion from a place of love and curiosity. Any anger you feel is understandable, but unlikely to benefit this conversation.
Choose a time and place to start this conversation that’s safe and comfortable for both of you. Let the person you care about know what warning signs you’ve noticed, and let them know you’re concerned about them returning to use. Instead of asking accusatory yes or no questions, like “Have you started drinking again?” try to ask open-ended questions that allow them to talk about how they’re feeling and where they are in their recovery journey. Talk about what has been working during recovery and what hasn’t. Work together to develop a plan.
Treatment for Alcoholism in Orange County, California
Watching someone you care about return to use after treatment is incredibly difficult. It feels like things were just starting to get better, and now they’re at square one all over again. The truth is that recovery isn’t always a straight line. Relapse doesn’t undo all the work they’ve already put in; it just means they need to build on it. The right alcoholism treatment program will empower them with the skills they need to recover for the long term.
Relapse is a part of the recovery journey for many people, but your loved one doesn’t have to face it alone. At Pacific Sands Recovery Center, our personalized, evidence-based alcoholism treatment is intended to meet people where they are. We offer a safe, intimate setting with just six beds, ensuring you receive the dedicated attention and care your loved one deserves. If someone you love is living with alcohol use disorder, call us at 949-334-2990.
Pacific Sands: The First Step Towards a New Life
